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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. —Erma Bombeck
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. —Roseanne Barr
An elderly man came into my office one day with his wife complaining he wasn’t feeling well . After examining him the I took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a heart condition. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and make sure he doesn’t do anything himself.When I walked out of the room for a minute I overhear the man ask his wife worriedly “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it.”